I just got back from a three week trip to Ireland and the UK.  It was great, but I was stunned at the almost non-existent visa and customs control.  There was no person in customs landing in Ireland twice and the UK once.  There wasn't even a person checking passports in the UK!  Come on in, everybody!

Luckily I returned to the US one day before the London terrorist arrests.  Security was a breeze at both ends.  I even got my return to the US customs and visa check done in Ireland before we boarded the plane.  However, I cannot say the same about the security on my flight from NJ to Raleigh-Durham.  

My flight left at 6:55 AM.  I arrived at the airport at 5:45 AM.  I checked my bags in at 6:30.  They made the flight.  I got in line for the security check point at 6:38 AM - and I took pictures of the odyssey - shown below...

At 6:38 - this is the beginning of the line

As you might be able to make out - the line bends to the left.  This is the line to get in the line for security.  That's right - the line before the line.

6:48 - that's the stairs to the security line

Not too bad now - in another ten or so minutes I'll be finally on the right line.  (In/On - I know.  I'm from Jersey.  We say "on").

7:08 - Things are not moving

I have now officially missed my flight and the line is no longer moving.  There is an airport employee at the bottom of the stairs and he will not let anyone up to the actual line until it thins out.

7:22 - Note how no one is stopping people from upstairs coming down to the security line between the two floors

Seriously.  He would not let anyone up.  AT ALL!  Not until the real security line got shorter.  However, that line kept getting fed by people from international departures up let another flight of stairs.  When I pointed this out to him, he acknowledged it, but could not let anyone up until the security line was shorter.  

This was when I decided that the world was insane.  Like Yossarian in Catch-22, I took off my clothes and climbed a tree. 

If we cannot go up the stairs until the line is shorter, and the line stays the same length because of people coming down from upstairs - then we will be here forever, right? Right then, it clicked in his head that what he was doing was insane.  I thought he would let us through.  Then, he realized that if we miss a thousand planes, its no skin off his back - but if the security level gets too crowded - he gets yelled at.  So, he sent me back into the downstairs line.

So I took an elevator upstairs and walked down.

8:10 - The Actual Security line

Ah-ha!  Now things are moving. This line actually inches forward.  I may make the second flight to Raleigh this morning.

8:27 - Not So Fast.

Or not.  The line actually had a secret compartment that fooled you into thinking you were near security.  You actually had to follow the line down an absurdly long hall and then back.

8:36 - Now its just a long line.

This would have been a long line if I saw it the day before.  But now that everyone is throwing out contact lens solution, shampoo, lipstick and more - this is almost home.  Huge piles of cosmetics are at every turn.  People are downing flasks and alcohol bottles.  Somewhere in the hills of Pakistan, Osama Bin laden is lying there - sleeping.  Seriously - it's like 2AM there.

9:43 - Booking tickets for flight number three to Raleigh

I get the 11:15 flight and arrive in Raleigh 4.5 hours late. All in all - it was about equal to the travel time from Ireland to JFK in NYC.  Awesome.

So, anyway, I'm back and have many more wonderful features planned as well as descriptions of the current one we just implemented that you may not even know about.  I'm glad to be back.